That lady is sleeping.. I’m going to take over her blog. Hi you guys, it’s me, Trey.
I need to rant about my current living situation. New Hampshire – who the hell lives in New Hampshire? Frickin bastion of liberalism and people who don’t know what the hell an “R” is. It’s “CHOWDER!” – with an “R”. “CAR!” – with “R”. I’m stuck here in New Hampshire with these two other damn cats that are here.
Who the hell is this 16 lb guy who thinks he frickin owns this place? I could bite him, but I won’t because the lady will get mad and throw that stupid, little blue blanket over us to break up the fight. He’s such an idiot. Lookit him – using that stupid scratch pad and playing with the ball that circumnavigates it – see, I know the word “circumnavigate”. I’m a smart, intuitive and really handsome Maine Coon Cat, we don’t bat stupid balls around the outside of a scratch pad. We don’t play like that. We don’t even play.. we just sit quietly and assess and look beautiful. “Stunning!” is what I say. See that picture above? – That’s me. Lookit how beautiful I am. A result of masterful bathing and making sure I get my beauty rest. Speaking of which, gimme a minute for a nap and I’ll be back.
(Insert hours long nap here)
Okay, I’m back. I may have a little bit of a catitude but you know? – I’ve done so much more in my life then these other cats have; I’ve lived on a boat – in New Harbor – Block Island!! (that’s me in the picture on the right – out on the back deck in my life preserver). I’ve taken a long distance run through the airport at Dulles International and traveled to and from Florida many times (although the last time, we drove in the car with that lady – it was too much, she drove too fast. The Merritt Parkway is no place for a cat is all I’m sayin’.
And at the end of the day when I’m tired, I get the bed. Ya hear me?? I GET THE BED!!! … ugh, I get so mad, these idiots think they get to sleep on the foot of the bed but they don’t, it’s MINE! Mine I tell ya. Anyway, next week I’m on my way to St. Pete; sunny, warm, “get yer flip flops out” St. Pete to live with my boy. He’ll take care of me. No more of these idiot cats around. I’ll miss them.. okay, probably not. But I’ll have my own bed, quiet days to rest and my favorite guy to take care of me. – I cannot wait!
Thanks for letting me rant; and yeah, no cats were harmed during the writing of this blog.